In the messy aftermath of learning that two dear friends are struggling with their marriage, Christian couples tend to come face to face with the all-important question: how does a person keep the marriage flame alive, through the years of, say, finding each other’s faults, being faced with the temptation of someone else being more attractive, or even something legitimate as parenting several kids, having them grow up and leave home? How does Christian marriage stay vibrant and alive even through the challenges of everyday life?

I suppose it’s never as clear-cut as simply giving someone (or myself, for that matter) a set of guidelines as to how to keep the flame alive. It’s never an issue of how a person ought to behave in order to keep his or her partner in love, or growing in love. It’s also not an issue of how to keep from becoming child-centered in one’s parenting technique, of prioritizing Christian marriage above parenting one’s own offspring. And it surely is not an issue about keeping each other securely tethered to protect the bond of marriage.